I'm worried
I went to the information session for weight-loss surgery here in Syracuse a couple of weeks ago. I filled out the paperwork & am sending it out in the mail tomorrow. (I had to wait to see if I had insurance) I know from the info packet they gave me and from other research I've done that I am going to have to make some major changes in my life in order for the surgery to be successful.
I'm really afraid of the changes I need to make. #1 I have to quit smoking. How the heck am I gonna quit smoking and work on my weight at the same time??? #2 I'm addicted to diet pepsi, chocolate and buttered popcorn. I cannot fathom having to live without any of these...is that normal? #3 I am an emotional eater; I eat when I'm happy, sad, mad, excited, sleepy, horny, depressed,etc. I know I have to find other things to do at those times but I'm not sure how to start. #4 I HATE cooking. The thought of having to spend so much time shopping and preparing food really bums me out. #5 I'm diabetic and lactose intolerant plus eggs upset my stomache. What the heck will I be able to eat??
I know a psychological eval is part of this process and I welcome it, but will it help me develop coping skills & behavior modification?
Am I in over my head?
Has anyone else felt like this?
I'd appreciate ANY comments!
I know that it seems very over whelming when you go to the seminar and you come away thinking that there is no way in hell that I am going to be able to comply to all those rules! I know that I felt that way too. I can't help you with questions #1, #3 or #5 But I totally commiserate with #2 - I was a mountain dew & chocolate addict BIG TIME before surgery and I ate/drank them right up till the day before my surgery. No cutting back for me! But I can honestly say that it will be so much easier NOT to consume those products after you have this surgery. I swear they cut out the part of that craves all the bad food items you used to eat and instead inject you with the will power to just say no and walk away from all those foods. I was amazed how easy it was to turn down both chocolate and soda after surgery. And you don't even miss it - it's like it doesn't even sound good to you anymore. I am almost 1 year out and I just am now letting a little bit of chocolate flavoring back into my diet in the form of chocolate FiberOne bars and Chocolate flavored protein bars. And the little bit satisfies me - I am truly amazed! Hopefully this will be the same for you also. As for popcorn - who says that you will never be able to have it again?? I eat the microwaved Kettle Corn 100 calories pack as a treat a couple of times a week. And I don't feel like I'm denied my popcorn fix. It's funny but after surgery a small amount will satisfy you.
As for cooking - I NEVER EVER cooked anything before surgery - always ate out or just picked up something already prepared. Now I find that because I eat so little at every meal that when I do cook something I can get a ton of meals out of it. So I make left over bowls and either place them in the freezer to pull out during the week or just eat that same meal often for lunch and dinner until it's gone. So I'm cooking only once every 4 or 5 days and living off the leftovers the rest of the time. It's not so hard when you only have to plan to cook 2 meals twice a week. And you can still cheat and get some ready cooked items at the grocery store or ready to cook items also. The best thing that I ever bought after my surgery was a crock pot. There are a thousand recipes on line and cooking with it couldn't be easier. You basically just dump all the items in it and walk away. It cooks itself!
Hope some of this helps you!!! You can do this! It just seems like it over whelming but you are stronger than you think you are!
As for cooking - I NEVER EVER cooked anything before surgery - always ate out or just picked up something already prepared. Now I find that because I eat so little at every meal that when I do cook something I can get a ton of meals out of it. So I make left over bowls and either place them in the freezer to pull out during the week or just eat that same meal often for lunch and dinner until it's gone. So I'm cooking only once every 4 or 5 days and living off the leftovers the rest of the time. It's not so hard when you only have to plan to cook 2 meals twice a week. And you can still cheat and get some ready cooked items at the grocery store or ready to cook items also. The best thing that I ever bought after my surgery was a crock pot. There are a thousand recipes on line and cooking with it couldn't be easier. You basically just dump all the items in it and walk away. It cooks itself!
Hope some of this helps you!!! You can do this! It just seems like it over whelming but you are stronger than you think you are!
Thank you so much. It helps a lot to know someone else went through this and that my soda/chocolate craving may disappear after surgery. I was addicted fo Mountain Dew for YEARS and somehow quit drinking that 1 1/2 years ago. Maybe if I concentrate on drinking more water I won't miss the soda so much.
I also decided to try and quit smoking Monday...wish me luck.
I also decided to try and quit smoking Monday...wish me luck.
You are very welcome! We are all in this together! It's funny now - I actually prefer to drink water - it's all that tastes good to me now a days, well, that and Fuze. And before surgery I never drank water - hated the taste of it. It's amazing how things have changed.
I wish you the best of luck with quitting smoking!! Just remember to keep your end goal in site and you can do it!
I wish you the best of luck with quitting smoking!! Just remember to keep your end goal in site and you can do it!
Hi Barbara,
Sounds like you are a little overwhelmed. I really feel that as you go through this process, you will make the changes that you need to. That's one of the reasons this process is so long. I went through the Syracuse program too and am actually having my surgery Monday. When you get your acceptance letter in the mail after you have sent in your paperwork, that may motivate you some more too to make some changes. For example, when I started this process, I would drink a pot of coffee a day. Regular coffee too. Loved it!! Never thought in a million years I wouldn't drink it. Well, guess what? I immediately cut it down to 4 cups a day when I started this process 8 months ago, then a couple months ago switched to half caff, then a couple weeks ago, switched to all decaff. You know what, I felt tired at first and had a headache, but it passed after a few days and now I don't miss it. I drink my decaff every morning just like I did the regular coffee. I used to eat white bread and now I only eat whole wheat and I actually prefer it. Don't know if I acquired the taste or what, but I like it now. I never ever thought I could live without my coffee. As you can see, I was a huge coffee hound.
Try to take it one day at a time. Changes happen over time, not overnight. You can do this and this website has a wealth of support on it. I am so glad that I am part of this family because I have learned so much through this process that will help me to have a long healthy life after gastric bypass.
This is a life change and can seem overwhelming, but I am confident that you can do this. Keep hanging around this site and do what the Dr's and Nutritionist say. You'll be alright.
Take Care,
Tammy :-)
Sounds like you are a little overwhelmed. I really feel that as you go through this process, you will make the changes that you need to. That's one of the reasons this process is so long. I went through the Syracuse program too and am actually having my surgery Monday. When you get your acceptance letter in the mail after you have sent in your paperwork, that may motivate you some more too to make some changes. For example, when I started this process, I would drink a pot of coffee a day. Regular coffee too. Loved it!! Never thought in a million years I wouldn't drink it. Well, guess what? I immediately cut it down to 4 cups a day when I started this process 8 months ago, then a couple months ago switched to half caff, then a couple weeks ago, switched to all decaff. You know what, I felt tired at first and had a headache, but it passed after a few days and now I don't miss it. I drink my decaff every morning just like I did the regular coffee. I used to eat white bread and now I only eat whole wheat and I actually prefer it. Don't know if I acquired the taste or what, but I like it now. I never ever thought I could live without my coffee. As you can see, I was a huge coffee hound.
Try to take it one day at a time. Changes happen over time, not overnight. You can do this and this website has a wealth of support on it. I am so glad that I am part of this family because I have learned so much through this process that will help me to have a long healthy life after gastric bypass.
This is a life change and can seem overwhelming, but I am confident that you can do this. Keep hanging around this site and do what the Dr's and Nutritionist say. You'll be alright.
Take Care,
Tammy :-)
Barbara1965;
Hello, welcome and thank you for the topic(s).
I appreciate your bravery, your honesty and trusting us to share your experiences. What a HUGE step you have taken already! Bariatric surgery is a process, it has to start somewhere and if you realize it or not you have probably been preparing all of your life!
Each moment is an opportunity to learn and grow and CHANGE if we choose!
Info sessions are meant to help us start thinking about the necessary lifestyle changes, that this is not a quick fix, that it is a tool and that it requires HUGE efforts on our part every step of the way.
Goal setting for myself has been most successful when I do the following. START SOMEWHERE AND SMALL! Not starting small paralyzes me from making any progress.
I like this technique...
http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/smart-goals.html
S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Attainable
R = Realistic
T = Timely
A good journal can be invaluable on this journey. Starting with these questions possibly!
1. What do you really want?
2. What would it take to get where you want to go?
3. Who could help you?
4. Looking at your answers, what is the first do-able step you could take in the next week that would get you moving in the direction you want to go?
__________________
Tell us (yourself) more about your fears, I head the little kid in all of us coming out not wanting perhaps to make these changes! That inner chilod can be nurtured in other ways as not to get the fear up and the sabotaging defiance to also be activated....
#1) Quitting smoking is in deed challenging, not impossible.
addition if viewed like a triangle (one corner is habit, one is physical, one is psychological) is a way to break it down to find tools for each corner!
Who can you align on your side? Find a quit smoking group? Use of aides such as patch, gum, lozengers, Chantix or Zyban if appropraiate per your PCP.
Average wt gain w/ smoking cessationis FIVE pounds not 50#!!!! It doesn't have to be a large gain...The tools you develop for smoking cessation can HELP wt loss, (think water, meditation, relaxation, exercise etc) it means you are working on non food/tobacco way to deal with your emotions/life each day consistently and self responsibly....
#2) Addictions to certain trigger foods, glad u r aware these food serve a certain place in your numbing emotions...Many tackle one at a time not all at once, others are all or nothing kinda folks....With goal setting in mind start wmall which is least addictive? If you drink 12 sodas a day cut a few out each week..many lose substantial wt with giving up diet soda! It is true!!! Not sure you have to live without chocolate or popcorn, many find moderation after wls with these doesnt derail them, others do....popcorn early on is contraindicated as is cholocate but by fat the diet soda seems to me the one to target!
#3) WLS will not change the fact of emotional eating....we have the choice to do that or not. Those who focus on this preop fare a easier ride than those who wait..many never address it even after tehy regain all their wt. (sad to say but the truth! I see it online and in my inperson support groups I have facilitated for 5 yrs).
#4 Loathing cooking, shopping, preparation. I wonder if it is challengn to do things in general for yourself? Do you neglect you at the expense of taking care of everyone elses needs? Perhaps I am incorrect but sometimes this is the reason and w/o addressign this in therapy for myself anyways it didnt get better. CODA www.coda.org is a 12 step program I found and find helpdul today to address these issues. Only you can de ide why these things bum you out..deep look within may be key...
#5 The diabestes will probably resolve day one postop, lactose intolerance will probably stay (many get it after wls anyways at least in short term) eggs may still upset tummy or not. Many folks find their tastes change and well what they can tolerate as well.
I hear a deep fear you may never eat again or have control..good issues to brin gup while working on that personal growth preop and for a good year at least postop!!!
A therapist can not make the changes for you, YOU must do that, although a good therapist can assist you in making these changes it is up to us to each live in a self responsible and accountable way consistently. It is not impossible, it is about progress not perfection. When I stop judging myself and start noticing I am far better off. For myself this has been life changing not wt changing. The enormity of the decision is not realized for many for a long time...the glitz of losing wt fades after a while and the reality of realistic expectations on thesurgerys part and ours sets in....better to have these realistic expectations way ahead!
I can say w/o working on the emotional eating if nothing changes nothing changes...You are brave, you are powerful and YOU CAN do this. you are only over your head if that is what you choose..
Preparing for Weight Loss Surgery Article:
http://my.webmd.com/content/Article/101/106101.htm?printing=true
Bariatric Surgery: A "Tool" in the Treatment of the Disease of Obesity
Cynthia Buffington, Ph.D
http://www.beyondchange-obesity.com/obesityResearch/bariatricSurgATool.html
Write anytime..I will add the following I post it often. email me at [email protected] if I can help!
It is very NORMAL, NORMAL, NORMAL to have jitters preop!
To assist in finding inner peace with your decision to have WLS consider YOUR CHOICE reflects the responsible, powerful masterful spirit that you are and you're ready to start creating miracles in your life. Taking some time to meditate, journal, pray, use positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm etc on your decision. Writing all the reasons why this is your choice, what your expectations and goals are (*consider those beyond wt loss itself), what you are fearful of.
Those that have goals that are health focused and functionally focused do the best (vs. those that are scale or weight/number focused). I am such a firm believer in not allowing the scale (or hunkametal that it is) to rule or dictate ones life/thoughts/feelings any longer, I agree we want to lose wt but gaining our health and ability to function in life are far more important than any number the scale can read; otherwise if it never reads the number we think, others say, a chart suggests we fail and that is simply not true!!!
As I have said before in other forums: Most of our lives we have set RIGID, UNREALISTIC WEIGHT LOSS GOALS for ourselves that are BOTH UNATTAINABLE and CHRONICALLY DISAPPOINTING and lead to DEVASTATION & the slippery slope of self-sabotage...Review the UNDERLYING lifestyle change such as exercise, food choices, self-awareness/monitoring, avoidance of emotional eating, adherence to living self responsibly in a CONSISTENT way that is the foundation to our long-term success. For me I keep telling myself daily that***THE GOAL SHOULD NEVER BE A NUMBER***
Consider that happiness and success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. Listening to my BODY/Mind/Spirit/Heart now and though your journey can be most helpful. Many times we are so busy or do not find the 'me' time needed to really connect internally w/ ourselves. Anxiety is just fear in disguise, ask yourself what are you fearful of? The changes you will go through physically/emotionally/relationship wise, pain, dying, complications, loss of food, fear of failure? Write about them, get them out of your head, feel them....
The goals you write today and reasons may help now as well as down the road when a complication or stressor or plateau happens, it can re-center you within your self, helping you refocus on the big picture and choice you made, well aware of a few bumps in the road. Deciding to have surgery, being as well informed and educated as possible, having supports (in person groups, online, friends and family) to talk to, to normalize and validate ourselves and journey is a key as well.
ONLY you know if this is the right thing at the right time for you, anxiety/fear is common and normal, consider embracing the feelings, they are only that feelings they have a beginning/middle/end and serve us well if we listen vs avoid/repress/stuff them. See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....
I recommend you consider trying to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about
life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
http://www.livingafterwls.com/Library.html this site has many good articles for preop/postop! Check it out periodically many good topics!!!
Maybe use positive thinking such as:
"I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING" (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)
"MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT" (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)
"ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS" (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).
THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!
YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or long-term....
There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help! Hugs!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The single BEST piece of advice I can offer being ~6 yrs out is this to anyone:
***Disclaimer some may consider this a no-brainer, others a downer, some a new view, psychobabble, whatever thought it is just my opinion, so take it for what it is worth, and it is meant to be helpful/insightful and thought provoking at a time so many of us are caught up with the right vitamin to take, amount of water to drink, etc.. it is meant to challenge beyond those tasks to see the small stuff matters but that there is a larger and more global view as well to consider!!!***
Establish your mindset to accept that weight loss surgery is not a cure/quick fix for morbid obesity, it's a very effective/powerful/wonderful tool that can be used lifelong to combat the chronic/lifelong disease of morbid obesity that has NO *current* CURE (*So at 1 yr out when many say 100# gone forever I sometimes shudder, it is never gone forever it is gone for now but the work has just started at 1 yr out IMHO). The tool is flawed and can be defeated as well (emotional eating, grazing, drinking calories, eating/drinking together, alcohol use, high calorie dense foods, too many simple carbs, overfilling pouch, carbonation, no consistent exercise routine). Considered WLS as part of a life-long process & commitment to challenge your personal awareness/responsibility/consistency/accountability and that a life-long requirement to follow up with physicians, a regular exercise program, and healthy eating. Accept it will come w/ potential challenges & imperfections (risks, side-effects, complications, challenges such as plateaus, not meeting goal, regain, possible depression, grief over the loss/safety of food/obesity may of offered/invisibility it offered although may of been unwanted at the time/the new attention you get, possible anger or anxiety w/o comfort of food as it used to be/limits it may impose, effort it requires to be healthy etc.) that these frustrations are part of the process to make you healthier see them as challenges not difficulties, positive self talk helps!. Your mindset will be the most important tool for success, as all the challenges of traditional diets/exercise plans for health will be present after WLS as well *Yup so many say I will never diet again, well let me say diets don't work *because people go off them* correct but you will have to be mindful of food and pay attention to intake and exercise for life, so in a sense your dieting for life! Even after WLS.... The surgery won't make a person change, but the beauty is YOU HAVE COMPLETE control over those changes/choices needed after surgery for success, the choices are there and the best use of the mind/psychology will harness those. Surgery is such a drastic choice that so many are successful due to a recommitment to healthy living and choices that is one reason it works and we say it is a 'rebirth'.
Changing habits pre -wls is the mindset that will keep you going, the surgery is a piece, the easiest/smallest IMHO. *It is however the milestone/landmark we set to focuses on. But truly the afterlife is the most challenging, the ever evolving challenges from things like getting in enough liquids to food introduction to vitamin taking, new ways of eating/drinking, introduction of exercise consistently to battling with the scale obsessions & disappointments as well as all the wonderful WOW moments. Have the support system needed to create the healthiest environment as well, willpower fades, the tools robust effects fades as well as the honeymoon closes...Harness your enthusiasm and mind for 6 months doing all you can to influence (not only wt loss) but the healthy lifestyle you want to adopt for maintenance, that elusive animal no one has mastered pre-wls. Exercise can become more routine after 6 months as well. Again the mind is just as/more useful than the pouch...it is the operator of the tool! Stress inevitable, so see each issue/stressful time as an opportunity to use your new tool/mindset! (Like I say use things as excuses or opportunities because holidays come and go each year as do parties, office food/celebrations, hurt feelings, sadness, losses, etc)
I know this isn't one message it is a million crammed into one right! Anyone who knows me knows I am never brief, this is my PASSION (giving back), WLS saved me from myself. It isn't easy or fair, but accepting life is imperfect just as the world we live in, embracing that imperfection and controlling what I can has helped me get thru many issues. There is no perfection, I work on that daily. So what to do about all of this babble?
Get a good journal, start writing today all the reasons you are COMMITTED to this change, what your expectations are (hopefully realistic for wt loss 50-80% of excess not an ideal body wt) and that the goals are not wt related alone, the functional ones how you can integrate into life easier, (clothes fitting, less medical co morbidities or risk of, less meds, less pain (physical/emotional) the benchmarks you are setting, take measurements and photos each month along w/ weights to document the journey. the mind is powerful but may be challenging to change so the photos/measurements help when the HUNKAMETAL doesn't register a loss. We are much more than a number on a scale, free from the numbers and see how much you are more than that as a person, your abilities etc....The journey is full of hills and valleys, some bumps and many more pleasures to see, it can be an awesome ADVENTURE!
The letter you may write/journal entry today may save you from backsliding at your first plateau or at 1 yr out, a recommitment to those thoughts, and how you have grown over time. These are the things I recommend. I think everyone else has you covered w/ the 'physical items you need'. These are the ever-elusive psychological things you need LOL!
OK if you have read this far thanks for hearing me out! I wish you well.
Hello, welcome and thank you for the topic(s).
I appreciate your bravery, your honesty and trusting us to share your experiences. What a HUGE step you have taken already! Bariatric surgery is a process, it has to start somewhere and if you realize it or not you have probably been preparing all of your life!
Each moment is an opportunity to learn and grow and CHANGE if we choose!
Info sessions are meant to help us start thinking about the necessary lifestyle changes, that this is not a quick fix, that it is a tool and that it requires HUGE efforts on our part every step of the way.
Goal setting for myself has been most successful when I do the following. START SOMEWHERE AND SMALL! Not starting small paralyzes me from making any progress.
I like this technique...
http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/smart-goals.html
S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Attainable
R = Realistic
T = Timely
A good journal can be invaluable on this journey. Starting with these questions possibly!
1. What do you really want?
2. What would it take to get where you want to go?
3. Who could help you?
4. Looking at your answers, what is the first do-able step you could take in the next week that would get you moving in the direction you want to go?
__________________
Tell us (yourself) more about your fears, I head the little kid in all of us coming out not wanting perhaps to make these changes! That inner chilod can be nurtured in other ways as not to get the fear up and the sabotaging defiance to also be activated....
#1) Quitting smoking is in deed challenging, not impossible.
addition if viewed like a triangle (one corner is habit, one is physical, one is psychological) is a way to break it down to find tools for each corner!
Who can you align on your side? Find a quit smoking group? Use of aides such as patch, gum, lozengers, Chantix or Zyban if appropraiate per your PCP.
Average wt gain w/ smoking cessationis FIVE pounds not 50#!!!! It doesn't have to be a large gain...The tools you develop for smoking cessation can HELP wt loss, (think water, meditation, relaxation, exercise etc) it means you are working on non food/tobacco way to deal with your emotions/life each day consistently and self responsibly....
#2) Addictions to certain trigger foods, glad u r aware these food serve a certain place in your numbing emotions...Many tackle one at a time not all at once, others are all or nothing kinda folks....With goal setting in mind start wmall which is least addictive? If you drink 12 sodas a day cut a few out each week..many lose substantial wt with giving up diet soda! It is true!!! Not sure you have to live without chocolate or popcorn, many find moderation after wls with these doesnt derail them, others do....popcorn early on is contraindicated as is cholocate but by fat the diet soda seems to me the one to target!
#3) WLS will not change the fact of emotional eating....we have the choice to do that or not. Those who focus on this preop fare a easier ride than those who wait..many never address it even after tehy regain all their wt. (sad to say but the truth! I see it online and in my inperson support groups I have facilitated for 5 yrs).
#4 Loathing cooking, shopping, preparation. I wonder if it is challengn to do things in general for yourself? Do you neglect you at the expense of taking care of everyone elses needs? Perhaps I am incorrect but sometimes this is the reason and w/o addressign this in therapy for myself anyways it didnt get better. CODA www.coda.org is a 12 step program I found and find helpdul today to address these issues. Only you can de ide why these things bum you out..deep look within may be key...
#5 The diabestes will probably resolve day one postop, lactose intolerance will probably stay (many get it after wls anyways at least in short term) eggs may still upset tummy or not. Many folks find their tastes change and well what they can tolerate as well.
I hear a deep fear you may never eat again or have control..good issues to brin gup while working on that personal growth preop and for a good year at least postop!!!
A therapist can not make the changes for you, YOU must do that, although a good therapist can assist you in making these changes it is up to us to each live in a self responsible and accountable way consistently. It is not impossible, it is about progress not perfection. When I stop judging myself and start noticing I am far better off. For myself this has been life changing not wt changing. The enormity of the decision is not realized for many for a long time...the glitz of losing wt fades after a while and the reality of realistic expectations on thesurgerys part and ours sets in....better to have these realistic expectations way ahead!
I can say w/o working on the emotional eating if nothing changes nothing changes...You are brave, you are powerful and YOU CAN do this. you are only over your head if that is what you choose..
Preparing for Weight Loss Surgery Article:
http://my.webmd.com/content/Article/101/106101.htm?printing=true
Bariatric Surgery: A "Tool" in the Treatment of the Disease of Obesity
Cynthia Buffington, Ph.D
http://www.beyondchange-obesity.com/obesityResearch/bariatricSurgATool.html
Write anytime..I will add the following I post it often. email me at [email protected] if I can help!
It is very NORMAL, NORMAL, NORMAL to have jitters preop!
To assist in finding inner peace with your decision to have WLS consider YOUR CHOICE reflects the responsible, powerful masterful spirit that you are and you're ready to start creating miracles in your life. Taking some time to meditate, journal, pray, use positive affirmations http://www.dailyinspiringquotes.com or http://www.nawls.com/public/department27.cfm or here http://www.unityonline.org/pray_prayersaffirmations.htm etc on your decision. Writing all the reasons why this is your choice, what your expectations and goals are (*consider those beyond wt loss itself), what you are fearful of.
Those that have goals that are health focused and functionally focused do the best (vs. those that are scale or weight/number focused). I am such a firm believer in not allowing the scale (or hunkametal that it is) to rule or dictate ones life/thoughts/feelings any longer, I agree we want to lose wt but gaining our health and ability to function in life are far more important than any number the scale can read; otherwise if it never reads the number we think, others say, a chart suggests we fail and that is simply not true!!!
As I have said before in other forums: Most of our lives we have set RIGID, UNREALISTIC WEIGHT LOSS GOALS for ourselves that are BOTH UNATTAINABLE and CHRONICALLY DISAPPOINTING and lead to DEVASTATION & the slippery slope of self-sabotage...Review the UNDERLYING lifestyle change such as exercise, food choices, self-awareness/monitoring, avoidance of emotional eating, adherence to living self responsibly in a CONSISTENT way that is the foundation to our long-term success. For me I keep telling myself daily that***THE GOAL SHOULD NEVER BE A NUMBER***
Consider that happiness and success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. Listening to my BODY/Mind/Spirit/Heart now and though your journey can be most helpful. Many times we are so busy or do not find the 'me' time needed to really connect internally w/ ourselves. Anxiety is just fear in disguise, ask yourself what are you fearful of? The changes you will go through physically/emotionally/relationship wise, pain, dying, complications, loss of food, fear of failure? Write about them, get them out of your head, feel them....
The goals you write today and reasons may help now as well as down the road when a complication or stressor or plateau happens, it can re-center you within your self, helping you refocus on the big picture and choice you made, well aware of a few bumps in the road. Deciding to have surgery, being as well informed and educated as possible, having supports (in person groups, online, friends and family) to talk to, to normalize and validate ourselves and journey is a key as well.
ONLY you know if this is the right thing at the right time for you, anxiety/fear is common and normal, consider embracing the feelings, they are only that feelings they have a beginning/middle/end and serve us well if we listen vs avoid/repress/stuff them. See this opportunity as one where you can grow. I was motivated but scared as well of dying..a hard decision but one I do not regret making....
I recommend you consider trying to fill your mind with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about
life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
http://www.livingafterwls.com/Library.html this site has many good articles for preop/postop! Check it out periodically many good topics!!!
Maybe use positive thinking such as:
"I AM COMMITTED TO FACE AND RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF LIVING" (i.e. no longer be morbidly obese)
"MY SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON MY CHOICES AND MY BEHAVIOR IN THE PRESENT" (i.e. having the surgery, committing to a healthy lifestyle)
"ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE, I CAN ALWAYS CONTROL MYSELF AND HOW I RESPOND TO WHAT HAPPENS" (i.e. complications but how I manage them if they happen is up to me).
THIS EMPOWERS YOU NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS!!!
YES THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT! It takes extraordinary courage to make the decision and live w/ the choices we make to consciously limit food choices for the rest of our lives (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals) among all the other potential complications it can bring short or long-term....
There will be plenty of opportunities to grow/change in life as it can be one stressor/problem after another but deciding to keep on keeping on will always help! Hugs!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The single BEST piece of advice I can offer being ~6 yrs out is this to anyone:
***Disclaimer some may consider this a no-brainer, others a downer, some a new view, psychobabble, whatever thought it is just my opinion, so take it for what it is worth, and it is meant to be helpful/insightful and thought provoking at a time so many of us are caught up with the right vitamin to take, amount of water to drink, etc.. it is meant to challenge beyond those tasks to see the small stuff matters but that there is a larger and more global view as well to consider!!!***
Establish your mindset to accept that weight loss surgery is not a cure/quick fix for morbid obesity, it's a very effective/powerful/wonderful tool that can be used lifelong to combat the chronic/lifelong disease of morbid obesity that has NO *current* CURE (*So at 1 yr out when many say 100# gone forever I sometimes shudder, it is never gone forever it is gone for now but the work has just started at 1 yr out IMHO). The tool is flawed and can be defeated as well (emotional eating, grazing, drinking calories, eating/drinking together, alcohol use, high calorie dense foods, too many simple carbs, overfilling pouch, carbonation, no consistent exercise routine). Considered WLS as part of a life-long process & commitment to challenge your personal awareness/responsibility/consistency/accountability and that a life-long requirement to follow up with physicians, a regular exercise program, and healthy eating. Accept it will come w/ potential challenges & imperfections (risks, side-effects, complications, challenges such as plateaus, not meeting goal, regain, possible depression, grief over the loss/safety of food/obesity may of offered/invisibility it offered although may of been unwanted at the time/the new attention you get, possible anger or anxiety w/o comfort of food as it used to be/limits it may impose, effort it requires to be healthy etc.) that these frustrations are part of the process to make you healthier see them as challenges not difficulties, positive self talk helps!. Your mindset will be the most important tool for success, as all the challenges of traditional diets/exercise plans for health will be present after WLS as well *Yup so many say I will never diet again, well let me say diets don't work *because people go off them* correct but you will have to be mindful of food and pay attention to intake and exercise for life, so in a sense your dieting for life! Even after WLS.... The surgery won't make a person change, but the beauty is YOU HAVE COMPLETE control over those changes/choices needed after surgery for success, the choices are there and the best use of the mind/psychology will harness those. Surgery is such a drastic choice that so many are successful due to a recommitment to healthy living and choices that is one reason it works and we say it is a 'rebirth'.
Changing habits pre -wls is the mindset that will keep you going, the surgery is a piece, the easiest/smallest IMHO. *It is however the milestone/landmark we set to focuses on. But truly the afterlife is the most challenging, the ever evolving challenges from things like getting in enough liquids to food introduction to vitamin taking, new ways of eating/drinking, introduction of exercise consistently to battling with the scale obsessions & disappointments as well as all the wonderful WOW moments. Have the support system needed to create the healthiest environment as well, willpower fades, the tools robust effects fades as well as the honeymoon closes...Harness your enthusiasm and mind for 6 months doing all you can to influence (not only wt loss) but the healthy lifestyle you want to adopt for maintenance, that elusive animal no one has mastered pre-wls. Exercise can become more routine after 6 months as well. Again the mind is just as/more useful than the pouch...it is the operator of the tool! Stress inevitable, so see each issue/stressful time as an opportunity to use your new tool/mindset! (Like I say use things as excuses or opportunities because holidays come and go each year as do parties, office food/celebrations, hurt feelings, sadness, losses, etc)
I know this isn't one message it is a million crammed into one right! Anyone who knows me knows I am never brief, this is my PASSION (giving back), WLS saved me from myself. It isn't easy or fair, but accepting life is imperfect just as the world we live in, embracing that imperfection and controlling what I can has helped me get thru many issues. There is no perfection, I work on that daily. So what to do about all of this babble?
Get a good journal, start writing today all the reasons you are COMMITTED to this change, what your expectations are (hopefully realistic for wt loss 50-80% of excess not an ideal body wt) and that the goals are not wt related alone, the functional ones how you can integrate into life easier, (clothes fitting, less medical co morbidities or risk of, less meds, less pain (physical/emotional) the benchmarks you are setting, take measurements and photos each month along w/ weights to document the journey. the mind is powerful but may be challenging to change so the photos/measurements help when the HUNKAMETAL doesn't register a loss. We are much more than a number on a scale, free from the numbers and see how much you are more than that as a person, your abilities etc....The journey is full of hills and valleys, some bumps and many more pleasures to see, it can be an awesome ADVENTURE!
The letter you may write/journal entry today may save you from backsliding at your first plateau or at 1 yr out, a recommitment to those thoughts, and how you have grown over time. These are the things I recommend. I think everyone else has you covered w/ the 'physical items you need'. These are the ever-elusive psychological things you need LOL!
OK if you have read this far thanks for hearing me out! I wish you well.
Take Care, 
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Thank you!
My goal has always been to be healthier. I know from previous attempts at weight loss that when I eat better and exercise I feel better physically. Being smaller would be a plus, but my main goal is my health.
I guess I am overwhelmed, thinking about everything at once. I'm going to focus on quitting smoking for now, but I'll continue drinking more water and getting more exercise too. I'll concentrate more on the food issues once I conquer this!
Keeping a journal is a great idea..thanks for the suggestion. I'm going to start one today!
~Barb~
My goal has always been to be healthier. I know from previous attempts at weight loss that when I eat better and exercise I feel better physically. Being smaller would be a plus, but my main goal is my health.
I guess I am overwhelmed, thinking about everything at once. I'm going to focus on quitting smoking for now, but I'll continue drinking more water and getting more exercise too. I'll concentrate more on the food issues once I conquer this!
Keeping a journal is a great idea..thanks for the suggestion. I'm going to start one today!
~Barb~
You are welcome..consider using the OH blog to journal as well!
Take Care,
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
I quit smoking in June, I have to tell you, it was hard...but not as hard as I thought it would be. I have been a smoker dor 15 years and I just did it, I kept telling myself "Iam stronger than this addiction" I also used those honey wheat pretzels to hold in my hands. I won't lie...I still crave a smoke and my quitting buddy has already gone back to smoking but I am so proud and I know that at this point it is just a mental game. I have some cold water give myself a peptalk and try to do something else. And now since I have quit smoking I know that everything else is gonna be easier than that was! I wish you the best of luck...you can do it!
Mary
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